Diabetes Diet  

Sugar levels ill, sugar levels well

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Taken some time out to write through fluctuating emotions caused by ever-changing blood sugar levels,

as defined in my situation and specified by my blood sugar test monitor results.

Sugar levels ill

“0.0” Call my mum, the boy’s pan bread. – Fortunately this hasn’t happened, yet. “1.0” Call an ambulance, the boy’s in a coma (and “1.5” I expect). “1.8” Inject me in the leg with that big orange Gluco Syringe please! Don’t worry I’m totally unconscious, I won’t feel a thing as that thick needle pierces my skin and if I do then maybe the intent is for the pain to bring me back. “2.6” Dextrose, Coca-Cola, Snickers bar and ice cream, everything to feed the hunger: oh now my sugar is “21.0!” “3.0” Dextrose please, for that balanced hypo approach. Although I’d rather have a bag full of all those cheap 'n' nasty sweets we ate as kids, pink shrimps, white chocolate mice, Wham Bars and a big bowl of ice cream. In fact just parachute me into ‘Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.’ “4.5” ‘Now is not the time for discussion. I know my sugar is bottoming out so pass me the sugar; all of it.’ “5.0” Come on the diabetes! – Keep this up for a couple of days and I’ll be feeling lovely, and the world's a better place. “6.0” ‘I knew it was you; your period is due.’ “7.0” ‘Let’s actually go outside.’ “10.0” Taking everything personally, taking everything to heart and taking it all the wrong way. “11.0” ‘I’m not in a huff, I’ll test my sugar and if it’s above nine then it’s me. I’d better have some insulin.’ “12.0” Feeling a bit pish, back aches and acid indigestion, ‘I'm sorry for acting like a complete shit earlier when my sugar was high. I know you understand but you shouldn’t have to put up with me acting like this and I feel like I am destroying your life.' “13.0” Unlucky, ‘Don’t even fucking look at me, AHHHHHHH. You have no idea how horrible this is, or what I am going through.’ “16.0” Check I haven’t left any plugs in. “19.0 +” Panic and confusion preside, I stand lost in my own street and the love of my life is a near stranger. An ambulance is en route to take me to A&E where they will drain a Blood Gas directly from an artery in my wrist to test for ketoacidosis then look at me like I’m wasting their special time.





Sugar levels well

“0.0” Am I still dead? “1.0” Big orange Gluco Syringe time, although I don't expect this will ever happen (again). “2.2” Gluco Gel on my gums please, and best I inform the people I work with that there is only a one in a million chance this could lead to me being on the floor and them having to get off their arse and do something. “3.0” Dextrose Powder in water please, but only three teaspoons to bring me up sufficiently then some eggs or something to keep me balanced. – I try not to panic and it’s easier now that I know what has caused the hypo. Because I now take such small doses of insulin, I avoid having to chase blood sugar levels spiralling down then bouncing back up. “3.9” Double check I have not levelled out here, if so my body will soon work its way back up to “6.0.” “4.0 – 7.0” One week of this and I feel like ‘Spider-Man,’ but best I try and stay closer to “5.0.” “10.0” Check which mystery item in the shopping list is packed with secret sugar? The last one was an apple lip-balm. “11.0” I bet I have some kind of fever, thermometer, water and Paracetamol please. “13.0” This still happens sometimes; an awkward cup of coffee can be enough for me to convince myself that the Waiter has short changed me, so I request a receipt. But at least now I know why I’m being all over the top and things aren’t all so personal. I’m still not giving him a tip though.





square point Preface
square point Heads, diabetes
square point Tails, diabetic
square point Succumbing to the D
square point How did this happen?
square point Dating, late 20's
square point Love
square point The talk, human resource
square point The three bears
square point Sugar levels ill, sugar levels well


Blood sugar test strips. My cat swallows these.  
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